Indeed the reality is that stress is not a medical condition, but a psychological one that triggers physiological responses in the body. Yet how many times you heard yourself or others say things like...
‘I had a stressful day.’
‘You’re stressing me out.’
‘My boss keeps giving me stress.'
‘My job is so stressful.’
What you or others are really saying is that you are responding in stressful ways to these people or situations. The people aren't stressful, the job isn't stressful. Indeed there is no stress in the world - just lots of people having stressful thoughts. And the irony is that by talking about how much stress you feel only tends to make you feel more stressed. Then, as the dial on your internal stress barometer winds up, your ability to cope with other potentially stressful situations goes down sending you into a downward stress spiral. All the while, the toll on your body, your productivity and your sanity mounts. It can be a vicious cycle. The good news is that stress isn't the terrible thing we make it out to be. In fact, it can be very useful!
Psychologists believe that our stress levels are directly linked to the extent to which we assess our resources are being threatened or depleted and will become insufficient to meet a threat—real or perceived. In other words, it’s not that any particular person, event or circumstance is in itself ‘stressful’, but rather the assessment we make as to our ability to cope with that event. It’s how we process or interpret that event (the ‘stressor’) that gives rise to feelings of anxiety or fear, which, in turn, produces a physiological change in our body (our heart beats faster, as our breathing grows more shallow and palms sweat.) This, in turn, is what we label as stress.
Research shows that a certain amount of stress is actually good for you, helping you achieve peak performance, whether in a sales presentation to a new client or preparing for an interview. Stress allows you to concentrate on what you’re about to do. Stress sharpens your focus. Harnessed well, stress helps you perform better and be more competitive, particularly when the stakes are high, the pressure acute and even the smallest competitive edge can make a difference.
When horticulturalists are preparing their plants for life outside the hothouse, they gradually expose them to greater variations of temperature in order to toughen them up for the variability they will be exposed to in the natural environment. And while we’re more complex creatures than plants, the same principle applies. That is, only by being exposed to situations that put some strain on you, and take you outside your ‘comfort zone’, can you build your capacity for stress and 'muscles for life.' Conversely, without a period of strain you actually lose strength, endurance and natural resilience. A certain amount of stress is good for you. Scientists have proven that exposure to stress is the most important stimulus for growth in life. Without it, you wither on the vine of life.
It’s therefore important not to buy into the notion that stress is your enemy and something to be avoided. Rather, think of stress as a valuable force of life that can be very constructive or destructive depending on how you manage it. Managed well, stress can be leveraged so that it will improve, rather than impair, your ability to live a full and productive life.
In order to succeed in life, we need to continually be taking on challenges that push us outside our comfort zone. That often means placing ourselves in situations that are are potentially stressful. Which is why I dedicated an entire chapter in my latest book Stop Playing Safe to expanding your capacity to handle stress triggers; to building resilience - as essential to success in today’s pressure laden, ever-changing and hectic world as anything else.
By expecting that you’ll sometimes have to confront new situations and deal with challenges that make you feel uncomfortable, you will be better able to respond to each constructively and gain more from the experience. This applies as much to those circumstances you may choose to put yourself in as to those that are thrust upon you. In the end, it’s crucial for you to remember one thing:
Stress itself is not your enemy. Stressful thinking is.
Margie Warrell is the bestselling author of Stop Playing Safe and Find Your Courage and international keynote speaker who challenges people globally to live and lead with greater courage (less the stress!) She's also a mother of four children, including two teenagers, which makes her a bonafide expert on stress!
Connect on Twitter, Linked In, or join her Courage Community on Facebook, For more ‘courage building’ resources and information, please visit www.margiewarrell.com
