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Last year, I wrote a piece on feminist mythbusting for young men. At the time, I assumed women could take care of themselves when it comes to understanding and applying the big F in their working lives.
Not so fast. Since writing that piece, there have been numerous incidents (most recently, the reaction to fellow Forbes blogger Susannah Breslin’s take on women at tech conferences and this doozy of a “satiric” categorization of the various types of feminism, not to mention the ongoing debate on what constitutes a "fair" non-sexist critique of Michele Bachmann and Sarah Palin) that have led me to realize that women aren’t immune to misinformation and misconceptions around feminism or to accepting erroneous or outdated stereotypes about what it means to be a feminist. Time to bust out the old pencil again, it seems. To that end, here are three of the most common myths about feminism that need to die already. Preferably yesterday.
Myth: You shouldn’t criticize other women
The logic on this is very simple. Women are people. Some people do bad/dumb things. Ergo, some women do bad/dumb things. When people do (or say!) bad/dumb things, it’s appropriate to call them out on those bad/dumb things. Being a feminist doesn’t mean that you should overlook bad/dumb things because to draw attention to them would send up a flare that there is discord within the ranks of the sisterhood or would give menfolk the opening to launch their own attacks. The idea that being critical of your fellow women weakens feminism is hogwash. If the movement is so frail that it can’t withstand some rigorous internal debate and discussion without collapsing like a house of cards or that criticism of a single woman’s behavior/views/etc. must be treated as an attack on feminism as a whole, we’ve got some real problems on our hands. And the people who are inclined to criticize or dismiss feminism are going to do so whether or not there’s 24/7 unanimity and lockstep agreement on our crowdsourced talking points. A little critical self-reflection is not the opening they’ve been gleefully waiting for. They don't need an opening; they're doing it anyway.
Myth: All battles are equal
In college, I once spent a summer working for a women’s organization. I had to make a brochure that described its “herstory” over the last 20 years and my boss got angry and lectured me when I remarked that it was my turn to “man” the phones over lunch. This and other similar pettiness probably delayed my full embracing of the feminist label by a couple of years. Do you really want "manning the phone" to be the hill on which you die? Or reclaiming the word "slut," a word that many of us never felt any ownership of in the first place? Really? When women are still earning 77 cents to men’s dollar? When Planned Parenthood was on the verge of being defunded? When non-white women in America are twice as likely to be living in poverty than are their white counterparts? It's damn hard to fight the feminist battle on all fronts at the same time with limited resources, which is why I pick my battles and zero in on the ones that most affect my quality of life and that of my fellow women. It's less important to me that a coworker offers to change the office water cooler jug for me because it's heavy than it is that I get to sit in on senior management meetings and chip in my two cents on the direction the company takes.
Myth: Fighting the system is more important than fighting for yourself
No, it’s not fair that Jack from two cubes over just received the CEO’s permission to have new Manager of Awesomeness business cards printed up even though he hasn’t been promoted. But instead of stewing about the boys’ club mentality that may or may not have facilitated his title upgrade, why not ask for the same thing for yourself? And next time, why not beat Jack to the punch when it comes to blowing your own horn and finagling perks? Promote yourself instead of policing others. If, in the words of Animal Farm, everyone is equal, but some are more equal than others, working to have yourself included in those ranks will yield greater career benefits (both for you and other women who follow after) than attempting to dismantle your corporation’s culture singlehandedly. Lead by example vs toothless critique because that's what ultimately improves the system in the long run. Put a folksier way, if everyone else is sitting at the table tearing into a big bucket of fried chicken, don't try to lure them away with a rice cake. Instead, push your way in and snatch a drumstick for yourself. Maybe shove a couple in your pockets for your friends, too.
