If you don’t mention it, you appear heartless; if you give in to it, you appear weak.
That is the fine line that each one of us faces in communicating with colleagues, customers, bosses, vendors, friends and family, in the aftermath of historic hurricane Sandy – and after every major national disaster, by the way.
No matter where you live, it is important to get it right. Because how you recover, and how you communicate during recovery – yours and others’ – can set the stage for business continuity, future growth, and for customer and employee loyalty, or the exact opposite.
Pain is not distributed equally in the aftermath of a disaster or crisis. Perhaps the mathematicians can explain why, but it is almost never a fair distribution. One person’s house stands, while his or her neighbor’s has been leveled by the waves, or a fallen tree. One business is out of power for two weeks, while across the street another business’ lights blink merrily, as if there is not a problem in the world.
So, in the aftermath, some are ready to get right back to work – “what’s the problem?” – while others are still in full recovery mode.
How should we communicate as we limp back, unevenly, to work, school, productivity, and rebuilding, move forward? Here are a few suggestions that might help:
1. In the days and weeks following a natural disaster, or crisis, do not assume that your experience is shared by another. In fact, assume it is not.
Don’t assume that everyone can get back to business as usual just because you can. So, ask everyone – client, colleague, board, boss, friend, classmate – how they were affected. And care about their answer, engaging with them on it, if they seem to wish it. In other words, meet them where THEY are, not where YOU are.
2. Offer help to all who need it, if you can afford to give it. (Since our electricity failed, three different friends asked us to stay with them, or come over to “recharge” and shower. Thank you, Francesca and Jack, Diane, and Julia and Al!)
3. If you are a boss, give a little more time to your employees if they need it. Break the rules a bit. Not too much, of course, because business must come back. But a kindness or a generosity now will long be remembered…and appreciated with loyalty later.
4. Avoid a sense of moral superiority if you have come through fine, and others have not! It may sound strange, but I am sure you have experienced this temptation, from one side or the other. Even if you were better prepared, mostly it is the luck of the cosmic draw that determines how one is affected by a natural disaster. So, don’t lord your luck over your colleagues, customers or friends, even slightly, or unconsciously.
5. As best as you can, do not begrudge others their good luck – even if yours was not so good! Celebrate their good fortune. This is the corollary to number 4, of course.
6. Reference the disaster first in almost all your communications. To get straight to business without doing so will seem callous to those affected. Once you have referred to it, authentically, then you can get down to the topic of your communication. And you’ll know, in about a week, when it’s time to stop doing this…or you can follow others’ lead.
7. Great leaders over-communicate in crisis, so communicate right now. If you are able, especially if you run a company or organization, it is important to be a leader. And in tough times, leaders communicate with all their constituencies – a lot. They show empathy, they demonstrate strength, they embody mastery of difficulties and addressing problems, they help those that need it, they let their people know the facts, they chart a course for recovery, they envision what that recovery can look like, and they lead the recovery. And, they communicate, communicate, communicate.
As First Vice Chair of The Girl Scouts of the USA, I have been tremendously impressed by how our new CEO, Anna Maria Chavez, has been communicating with every constituency – board, staff, councils across the country, and our girls. Her communications have been filled with empathy, information, decisions, and strength. They perfectly model how a leader should communicate.
8. Honor those who are going out of their way to help. In our NYC apartment building, as the water started gushing through the front door, and into the lobby, the valiant doorman was inundated with offers of coffee, soup, help, etc. We appreciated what he and his colleagues were doing to keep the East River out and us safe and as dry as possible.
There have been lots of heroes around this week – honor them.
9. Do not sink into lethargy or sadness, or let the disaster through you off your game for too long…no matter how bad it gets. “Shit,” as they say, “happens.” And it takes strength to not let it affect you over the long haul. (This does not apply to true tragedy or death, of course, but to more common loss and destruction…)
Mourn by all means; grieve for what was lost, and begin to repair. But retain your goals, and regain your momentum. THAT is what winners do, they recover even if they must alter their course, almost no matter what the challenge.
10. Grow stronger. Ernest Hemingway said that it is possible to grow “strong at the broken places.” While I am not sure that this is universally true, it is sometimes, and it is certainly something to seek. Try to make it true for you and your business and family!
11. And, learn from it! Right now, review your lessons learned. Write them down (“Note to self: always keep 20 D batteries on hand for the flashlights; stockpile matches; stop global warming…”) and then follow up on these lessons while they are fresh.
Getting back to equilibrium will be instantaneous for some, and a very long haul for others. Important to understand that, and exhibit compassion for those who have experienced loss. And that compassion will make sure that you profit from the experience, regardless!
So…these are my lessons. I would love to hear yours, as the recovery begins, and we move forward.
