I just read a post here on Forbes that I absolutely, 100% loved, Jessica Hagy's "40 Things To Say Before You Die." It's completely brilliant - not a clinker in the lot. Forty sentences: simple, deep, authentic. And all supported by her clever, true images.
Then I felt a pang of envy, noticing how many followers Jessica has and how many page views her posts get. "I want that!" I thought. And I saw an immediate choice point inside my head; it was like standing at a mental crossroads. I could go down the path of, "Well, she's not that good - of course people like her stuff, because it's________" (fill in the blank with any dismissive comment), or I could go down the path of "Wow, I can see why she's so popular - this is FANTASTIC."
The jealous path is seductive - it momentarily assuages your envy and makes you feel superior. But in the long term, it simply makes you smaller; it closes your heart and your mind and keeps you from growing. If you look at others' wonderful accomplishments and convince yourself there's nothing there to inspire you, nothing to emulate or strive for...you'll miss powerful opportunities to be inspired, to emulate, to strive.
Down the other path, there's something truly liberating. When I can step beyond my own pettiness, envy and unhelpful competitiveness to fully acknowledge and support someone else's success, I feel myself expand. I shift into a mental and emotional mode I can only describe as 'opened up.'
Fortunately for me, I made the second choice in reading Jessica's post. And so I was fully able to appreciate her clarity, and to learn from her insights.
Now, here's the bigger point. Think of how many times during a day we have the same choice: to go down a mental path that rejects, dismisses or invalidates, or to go down a mental path that accepts, invites or celebrates. To close down and turn away or to open up and turn toward.
One choice is toward a life that's small: circumscribed by your own resistance. The other choice is toward a big life that - no matter your specific circumstances - is full of curiosity, wonder, interest, learning. New connections and new possibilities.
Choose big.
Or, in the words of Jessica Hagy - "Eureka!" (#9) and "Let's Go!" (#8).
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3 days and counting - Erika's new book, Leading So People Will Follow, available everywhere on Tuesday.
Amazon has selected Leading So People Will Follow as one of the 10 Best Business Books for October.
