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Mix Family And Friends With Business? 6 Secrets Revealed

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"Framily."

Yes -- stolen from Sprint. But every entrepreneur I know has to face it head on: the dilemma of how to mix their business with friends and family.

Listen -- it makes sense to work with those we like and trust, and there is no better fit than our friends and family. I’ve always done it and you’re probably doing it too. In fact, I’ve rarely met an entrepreneur who didn’t have a close friend or family member working with them.

But how do smart entrepreneurs have "framily" as employees, investors and partners -- and still remain civil at Thanksgiving dinner?

Enter the most family and friends oriented company I know -- Infusionsoft.

With $60 million in annual revenue and a headcount of 478, Cofounder and CEO Clate Mask has the responsibility to manage the potential dysfunction of a business filled with friends and family.

Treacherous from the start because he founded Infusionsoft with his brother-in-laws Scott and Eric Martineau -- take his wisdom to heart as he lays out his six must-follow tips on how to succeed with "framily":

1. Write It In Stone: Relationships Come First

Smart entrepreneurs lay down the law right from the start: the relationship comes first. Your spouse. Your kids. Your best friend Jill. Make the decision and have the conversation before you begin working together. If the relationship gets in trouble, fix it. Trust me -- it’s not worth losing best friends and your marriage over a business.

Mask adds; “If the relationship lacks mutual love and respect; friendship and family conflict will spill over to cause company conflict. So work on great family and friend moments -- outside the office.”

2. Relationships Come First, Except When The Business Comes First

You just caught a family member stealing from the business. Or more likely, you have a friend or family employee not pulling their weight after months of "working on it." Since these actions impact your business, you must lower the hammer and let them go.

Mask strongly warns the first time you make a decision to favor a family member or friend over the business in this kind of situation, “you fan the flames of distrust with your other employees.” Further, you give birth to a culture of nepotism and favoritism. As Mask says; “Your employees already assume you favor family and friends over others, so you must work hard to always make decisions that benefit the business.”

3. Communicate Clear Measures Of Success Up Front

Wise leaders set clear and measurable goals for every new hire on day one. For example, every employee at Infusionsoft is assigned a ‘big three’ -- namely the three things expected of them. Written down and measurable, they are held up in public view as goals for success. According to Mask, the result is all employees – even those who are family or friends – “have clarity in their roles, know what’s expected of them and have public accountability.”

4. Disagreements Are Never Personal – Just Business

Like a time bomb ready to explode -- working with friends and family creates moments of friction. You have passion. They have passion. But most telling is your personal relationship with them. Let’s face it, we sometimes speak differently to family and friends then we do others. Thus, explosive business conversations can take flight.

Mask shares this story; “We’ve (Mask and his brother-in-law, Scott Martineau) had many passionate disagreements. We’ve gotten pretty worked up, raised our voices and banged on a couple of tables. However, when our discussion was over, we’ve made sure to leave the room only after a big hug and having made peace. We make sure others in the company understand that although there is disagreement, we are moving forward in harmony.”

5. Establish Boundaries And Keep Them  

As entrepreneurs, we know this as an undeniable truth: our businesses can invade every square inch of our lives. But in reality, successful entrepreneurship means we must put up a wall. Call it the wall of ‘we don’t allow business in here.’ And this is especially true for family run businesses.

Mask says “Although we do allow conversations about business around the dinner table, I’m adamant about just being 'dad’ in the mornings. I will often work later in the night, but my early evenings are blocked for family only. Having strength in my family relationships makes me a better CEO and leader of Infusionsoft.”

6. Set The Bar High(er) For Family And Friends

Entrepreneurs who hire family and friends are already behind the eight-ball in the eyes of others. Nepotism and favoritism rumors will swirl about regardless of what action they take.

But in a constant effort to ensure non-family and friend employees are treated fairly, Mask sets the bar higher for family and friends. “We might praise a regular employee for a particular task, but a family member employee will have to perform the same task to a higher degree to earn that same praise. While this might not seem fair to the family member, it’s better for overall company morale to ensure there is no favoritism to family members.”

Bonus Tip: Don’t Even Go There

Staring back is the obvious question: why even risk it? If it’s such a landmine of potential disaster, why not just make a rule to not hire (or partner with, or take money from) any family or friends? Great question. And the answer is you could very well make this decision. Working with family and friends is not for every entrepreneur. And I know a few who would never even consider it. But if you can implement these six tips from Mask, then I would highly advise you go for it. There is no greater joy than working with people we like, trust and even love.

"Framily."  You can live with them in your business.

I'm Eric. Life-long entrepreneur and Founder of Mighty Wise Academy. You can connect with me here.