I often say that divorce can bring out the worst in people. Occasionally, a case in news headlines makes even that seem like an understatement.
Judges in family law courts have seen and heard it all. Still, it may have been something of a novelty when Michael Mandelbaum claimed never to have been legally married to Debra, his wife of 20+ years, who now seeks to divorce him.
She filed for divorce in New Jersey, where the couple has three children and shared a home reportedly valued at about $2M. Mr. Mandelbaum’s position is that although New Jersey law requires couples to have a marriage license in hand before they wed, he and Debra did not. They applied for a license two days before their wedding ceremony, and received it 16 days afterward.
Mr. Mandelbaum contends that there was no legal marriage, so there can be no divorce – and therefore the court should dismiss Debra’s case. Of course, if there was no marriage, Mandelbaum would have no obligation to divide assets or pay alimony. He would probably only be liable for child support.
The Mandelbaums’ divorce action has made headlines because millions are at stake in the outcome. Mr. Mandelbaum’s father, David, is part owner of the Minnesota Vikings and appeared on The Forbes 400 – the list of the richest people in America – in 2005. Michael reported an income in excess of $6.6M in 2012 from managing his family’s legal affairs.
New Jersey is an equitable distribution state, which means that in divorce, each spouse can claim a fair and equitable portion of all marital assets, regardless of whose name appears on what. Of course, what constitutes “fair and equitable distribution” is based on a variety of factors, including the length of the marriage, and may or may not result in a 50-50 split. Mr. Mandelbaum, reportedly worth hundreds of millions of dollars, apparently considers it worth the time, expense and legal gymnastics to avoid dividing assets with Debra. The logic may be that the worst a judge can say is “nice try.”
Debra Mandelbaum has countered her husband’s claim with a filing that includes 20 years’ worth of evidence of the couple’s married life, including joint tax returns and, notably, an anniversary card from Michael in which he wrote, “After 20 years I’d marry you all over again.”
The timing of the wedding ceremony vs. receipt of the marriage license presents a technicality that has reportedly been used in other cases. However, the court will also take good faith and common sense into account in making a decision. Michael and Debra Mandelbaum certainly behaved as a married couple… but on the other hand, New Jersey does not recognize “common law” marriage (by which a couple who has lived together for a long period of time and presents themselves to the public as husband and wife are considered married).
The Mandelbaum case has another interesting aspect. Debra reportedly filed for divorce after obtaining a temporary restraining order against Michael. He was charged with aggravated assault, after allegedly pushing Debra down a flight of stairs. He claimed she slipped and fell. The charge was dropped after Michael completed a pretrial intervention program.
Without speculating as to what happened in that incident, I will just add here that October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. I’ve written before about this “Awareness We Overlook,” and I feel strongly about helping women in abusive marriages regain control of their personal finances. Please visit http://www.thehotline.org/ to get help if you are in an abusive relationship.
The Mandelbaums were scheduled to appear in court again at the beginning of this month. We shall stay tuned to hear the judgment of the court as to the validity of Mr. Mandelbaum’s claim. In the meantime, women should be reminded just how careful, involved and aware you must be right from the very beginning of the legal contract that is a marriage.
I’ll leave it to psychologists to figure out why someone would be willing to spend untold sums to make life miserable for a spouse they presumably once loved. As a Divorce Financial Strategist™, my focus is on preventing women from suffering financially at the hands of men like this. My advice: Even in your happiest times together, dot those i’s and cross those t’s in all financial and legal matters – and remember that your marriage is both those things.
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Jeff Landers is the author of the Amazon best-selling book, Divorce: Think Financially, Not Emotionally – What Women Need To Know About Securing Their Financial Future Before, During, And After Divorce.
All articles/blog posts are for informational purposes only, and do not constitute legal advice. If you require legal advice, retain a lawyer licensed in your jurisdiction. The opinions expressed are solely those of the author, who is not an attorney.
For further information, please go to our website at: http://www.BedrockDivorce.com or email Jeff at Landers@BedrockDivorce.com.
