New and current retirees often admit, in hindsight, their desire to start saving more; and wish they had begun doing so at an earlier age. Regrets over saving may be well chronicled but the most important retirement advice seems to come only later in life and, unfortunately, after relationships, health, or other personal aspirations are seen in hindsight.
Ron was a business maverick who had risen to the top through long hours, hard work and dogged perseverance. The kind of guy young men aspire to be, and about whom books are written. But he paid a terrible price for success. Those long hours kept him out of town, out late and, as a result, put him out of a relationship with his daughter. Missed family events and a litany of excuses caused that relationship to dwindle as other things became his priority. Fortunately, his wife helped keep things stitched together. She was an invaluable link between him and his daughter; and he recognized that fact more than ever after she passed away.
Following his wife’s death, things spiraled downward for Ron. Both had been in denial about her illness. Selfishly assuming she wouldn’t die, and hoping things would get better, by the time Ron informed their daughter the illness had already ravaged his wife’s body and she was near death. The daughter felt once again wronged by her father. She was bitter about being robbed of precious time with her mother. Now, when she speaks with her father, it’s forced, her tone is one of anger, and she has her own set of excuses for why she doesn’t have time for him.
At this crucial time in his life … a time he had envisioned as full of relaxed days with his wife and making up for lost time with his daughter and grand-kids … he has only his fortune left to lean on. He now realizes the grave error of his ways and that, no matter how large his empire or how much money he has, his relationship with his daughter is in such a state of disrepair he will likely never be a part of his daughter or grand-children's lives.
Unfortunately, this is an old and altogether too familiar story. Whether it’s a failing relationship or the toll that bad habits (or lack of good ones) have on one’s physical well-being, new and soon-to-be retirees shouldn’t wait for hindsight to reveal the changes they should be making based on where they’re at and the path they’re on in retirement.
The very same ingredients that tear some people apart, or wear them down, can be used to put things back together: The time, energy, and focus responsible for creating a gap between those who love and care about each can be refocused and used to heal and rebuild. Just as a business or simply living life will have ups and downs, so will relationships. It just makes good sense to continue investing in them, particularly when things may not be going the way you hoped.
It’s the same with your body and personal aspirations. You can’t always just take a pill to feel better, or snap your fingers and garner individual success. Well-being takes time, hard work and discipline. The lesson to be learned is not to wait until it’s too late to figure things; or to feel guilty about the past. It’s about recognizing that life is fragile and retirement offers a great opportunity to make right what may have gone wrong. After all, a perfect retirement isn’t one without problems; it’s one in which you rise above and overcome them.
Avoiding hindsight in your retirement plan means never waiting for the perfect time to tell a family member or friend how much they mean to you and how much you love and admire them. It means rekindling goals and dreams you may have put on hold, and altering bad habits and actions that will have long-term impact on retirement and don’t support your others dreams.
You’re not the only one worried about this, or going through that, and you never know what else someone may be struggling with. Your words and actions can make all the difference; but only if you actually speak and act. The things that are likely to guarantee a successful transition into retirement are often things that get put on the back burner. Don’t wait for hindsight before moving them to the front of the line and onto your priority list.
Change comes by starting. It will never be the perfect time, circumstances will never be ideal, and it doesn’t have to be complicated. Simply carve out a minute or two each day to reflect on what you need to do and can do … and then try it.
