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11 Things You Never Thought Of When You Decided Not To Get Married

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You know that couple in your circle who have lived together forever, but refuse to tie the knot? They are trendsetters, apparently—Americans who have never married, and whose numbers are at an all-time high, according to a new report from the Pew Research Center. In 2012, some one in five adults ages 25 and older had never tied the knot. Compare that to 1960, when only 9% of 25-and-overs were never-marrieds. “Adults are marrying later in life, and the shares of adults cohabiting and raising children outside of marriage have increased significantly,” the report says.

Pew cites shifting public attitudes as one of the factors behind the shortage of wedding bells. For instance, half of all respondents agreed with a statement that society is just as well off if people have priorities other than marriage and children.

And while about half of never-married adults say they would like to walk down the aisle someday, half do not—and the number has declined since 2010, when six in 10 adults had eventual wedding plans. A third of never-married Americans aren’t sure whether they’d ever like to marry, and 13% are not into it at all.

If you just haven’t found the right person for you, that’s one thing. But if you’re planning to spend the rest of your life with someone and you’re still rejecting marriage, you should make sure you know what you’re turning down. For instance, in a recent Washington Post story, a 34-year-old named Melissa said she felt like a lot of people get married because it’s traditional. “My boyfriend and I are committed to each other,” she said in the article. “We just don’t feel the need to get married.”

But for a committed couple, marriage has a variety of financial and legal advantages over domestic partnership. “There are a lot of little nuances that people don’t think about until it’s too late,” says Allen Falke, a business, trust and estate attorney with Mirick O’Connell in Worcester, MA.

Here are a few things a marriage certificate will do for you:

You’ll qualify for an estate tax marital deduction. When one spouse dies, his or her estate passes to the surviving spouse, tax-free. That’s not true for domestic partners, and even though the federal exemption is fairly high—currently $5.34 million—the exemption in some states is low enough to catch even moderate estates.

You’ll qualify for the gift tax marital deduction. As long as your spouse is a U.S. citizen, you can make tax-free gifts of any amount to him or her. “Unmarried couples may be surprised to find out that they owe gift taxes as a result of making gifts or supporting each other,” says Paul Jacobs, a financial planner and chief investment officer of Palisades Hudson Financial Group in Atlanta. “The maximum annual tax-free gift that you can give someone is currently $14,000.”

You can roll over a deceased spouse’s IRA to the surviving spouse’s IRA. If your significant other dies with an IRA and you aren’t married, you’ll have to start taking distributions immediately, regardless of your age. “A surviving spouse has the option to roll over the IRA into his or her own IRA, which makes it possible for a younger surviving spouse to postpone minimum distributions until age 70 and a half,” says Susan Green, an associate financial advisor at Wescott Financial Advisory Group in Philadelphia.

You can contribute to a spousal IRA. If you are domestic partners and you don’t work, you can’t contribute to an IRA for retirement savings, since you have no earned income. However, “if you’re married and you have a working spouse and a non-working spouse, the non-working spouse can use the working spouse’s income to qualify for IRA contributions,” Falke says.

You can receive survivor’s benefits from a pension plan. If your spouse is lucky enough to have a pension, and they’ve elected to have survivor’s benefits, you will continue receiving pension benefits after he or she dies. “The benefits are the biggest thing,” says Ted Toal, a financial planner with Rockwood Wealth Management in Annapolis. “Especially for those who are older.”

You can receive Social Security benefits. “Spouses have the option of filing for a spousal benefit, which gives them the potential to collect up to 50% of the other spouse’s benefit amount,” says Michael Lynch, vice president of strategic markets for Hartford Funds in Radnor, PA. There is also the possibility for a larger benefit upon the death of a spouse, he says. Imagine, for instance, that you are collecting $1,000 a month in Social Security benefits and your spouse is collecting $1,200 a month. If your spouse dies, you could start collecting survivor benefits of $1,200—a $200-per-month increase. As a domestic partner, you have no such option.

You’ll save on health insurance. “Usually plans for one plus a spouse are cheaper than if you each have your own plan, even if it’s an employer sponsored plan,” Toal says. This is especially helpful if one of you doesn’t have access to insurance through your employer—if you’re self-employed, for instance.

You have an advantage if your spouse is incapacitated. If your significant other is in a car crash, you may have more difficulty seeing him or her at a hospital if you aren’t a blood relation or a legal spouse. And if a judge has to name someone to make healthcare or financial decisions on behalf of your partner, you may be overlooked in favor of a parent or sibling if you aren’t married. “What if the parents of the other person don’t like the significant other?” Toal says. “They will be in court battling for control of everything.”

You have more protection if your spouse dies. “If one passes away without a will, the state is going to dictate where your assets go,” Toal says. If your significant other still has parents and siblings in the equation when that happens, they may receive assets over a nonrelated boyfriend or girlfriend.

You have more legal rights. For instance, if your spouse is in a fatal accident, you can sue for wrongful death. “A romantic partner may not be able to recover damages,” says Michael Boulette, an attorney with Lindquist & Vennum in Minneapolis.

You have a leg up when buying a home. Two spouses have a combined income and a legal reason to stay together—and mortgage lenders like that. “A lot of companies don’t want two unrelated parties on a mortgage,” Toal says. “Some will do it, but it’s much more difficult and they might require a higher down payment, or you might have trouble finding a lender.”

There are other advantages of exchanging vows, but these are some of the biggies. Some of these issues can be handled with the right estate planning paperwork or an official domestic partnership in some states, but many can’t. Says Falke: “You are either married or you’re not.”

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