The 10 Communication Commandments That Drive Reputation And Business

I have come to a bold realization this week: Researchers predict that reputation score will soon matter more than credit scores for individuals and businesses in the burgeoning “reputation economy” now emerging online.

However, a new SaaS software company, The World Table, believes the issues of bad or insufficient reputation are entirely fixable. All it would take is adherence to 10 easy rules. The curator of these practices is my personal friend Randall Paul who has quietly been refining these principles (along with a new technology platform) together with co-founder and partner Bryan Hall over the last several years.

After years as a real estate entrepreneur, Paul obtained a Ph.D. at the University of Chicago’s Committee on Social Thought where he developed a way to improve the most intractable cases of social conflict. He calls his practices for difficult conversations between rivals or critics The Way of Openness. I promptly tagged it The 10 Communication Commandments, as they resonate so fully with the vision of authentic PR and reputation I’ve been writing about as of late.

Online reputation is one of the most compelling ways to affirm credibility and trust, or, when misused, one of the most deadly ways to destroy them in the connected universe we work in today.

Businesses and individuals succeed or fail on reputation, and the Internet gives every living person with a language and a keyboard the chance to weigh in. It’s a new arena where much of our success in business is at stake, as 78% of consumers consider the reviews of others (even anonymous others) in buying decisions more highly than even the advice of their family and friends.

Yet the Internet creates room for fraudulent voices as well. And the cloak of anonymity, which can be highly beneficial in areas such as witness protection programs or HR reviews, can “bring out the little bit of a sadist in all of us,” as one of Paul’s associates said, by making it all too easy to cut loose in a moment of anger or retaliation with no responsibility attached.

Paul and his team have authored several parables to illustrate each practice of The Way of Openness. You can find them at WorldTable.co (and I look forward to writing more about what the company is doing in another post, very soon). In the meantime, imagine how much better the world of business would operate if each of us would adhere to these rules, as follows:

The Way Of Openness

The 10 Communication Commandments

1. Be Honest. Honesty begins when you look in the mirror and if you hold religious background, when you pray to your God. Being honest with others requires the courage to check in with your full intentions, with the help of trusted advisors where needed. We must be honest at all times, whether or not others are looking, to have genuine integrity and to build the credibility that can withstand false information and that will grow over time.
2. Be Kind. Kindness will go further towards building trust than any other virtue. Kindness is never outdated. Showing kindness is never weak, nor naive. Genuine kindness is understood by everyone; however few things are more offensive or destructive than an outward show of kindness that is insincere.
3. Listen Well. “Listening” is not just the act of being quiet. True listening is an act of generosity and a sign of both self-confidence and respect. Listening well means listening with a desire to understand rather than a need to respond. It is honesty and kindness in action.
4. Share the Floor. If you want to be taken seriously you must take others seriously as well. Sharing the floor means allowing others to speak even during the times we assuredly know we are right. It is acknowledging the dignity of our opponent even when we feel the need to ensure their defeat. them. Hogging the floor undermines your ability to persuade others because it manifests your fears and vulnerabilities far more than it reinforces the convictions you hold.
5. Presume Good Will. This is one of my own classic rules for public relations. Too often we assume the other party in a circumstance is behaving dishonorably or doesn't have our best interests in mind. Sometimes those concerns are valid. But suppose you were to walk into any difficult discussion with the supposition of the most honorable possible intentions for the behavior in question, and then allowed the other person the chance to explain. In a surprising number of cases, the integrity of their behavior will rise to match your expectations. The adversarial position will dissolve, or the person will at least be willing to seek middle ground. Worst case, if the situation turns out to be as bad as it sounded, now you know, and you can react with the knowledge that you are responding to real intentions as they have been stated first-hand. Remember, also, that presuming good will is a much different thing than accepting the other person’s beliefs. It means accepting the other person’s intentions as good.
6. Acknowledge the Differences. Acknowledging differences frees us (and others) to know clearly where each of us stands. When we discuss differences openly, it is an act that validates both parties and sets a tone and foundation for meaningful conversation to begin. To acknowledge differences with candor and humility is a sign of maturity that preserves and ensures the dignity of everyone involved.
7. Answer Tough Questions. With genuine differences come tough questions, especially when both sides desire a relationship of trust. Asking and answering tough questions in a straightforward and honest way instills trust. Avoiding them accomplishes the opposite.
8. Give Credit Where Credit is Due. Acknowledging the genuine value and good in the other party allows you to move forward more productively to the more difficult areas you may need to address. It also underscores your desire to uphold your position on its genuine merits as opposed to your desire to thwart the other party and “win.”
9. Speak Only For Yourself. What we say matters, not only to those we address, but also to those we are representing. If you legitimately hold a leadership role that allows you to speak on behalf of a group, you should disclose your role and speak accordingly. Likewise, be clear when you are providing your own opinion, and in those cases speak on behalf of yourself only and allow the same opportunity to others as well.
10. Keep Private Things Private. The responsibility to honor privacy is a great one, and the willingness to keep commitments of confidence is a mark of trust and maturity that will take your credibility far. The virtue of honesty is not a right to disclose all things to all people. Appropriate respect for boundaries of privacy as they pertain to you and to other parties is a core ingredient of trust.

Here is a final litmus test of authentic communication: Is it helpful or hurtful? Will it motivate and inspire? Would you say the same thing if the person about whom you are talking were present? Would you be proud for your mother to observe your communication? Or for the entire world to observe it? Increasingly, the world is observing. Perhaps we can diminish or even eliminate the need for reputation management and Crisis PR. Increasingly, the businesses and people who succeed in the new reputation economy will be the ones who’ve dropped the temptation to “spin” and have learned to establish and communicate an authentic reputation of trust.

Next week I’ll write about the technology platform The World Table is launching that will provide, as the company describes it, an ethical system with organizational strength. Stay tuned.