5 Signs Your Employees Think You're Awful

I actually had the following conversation a few years back with an executive I was coaching:

Him: "I can't get my team to go the extra mile. I know they're capable...are they just lazy?"

Me: "I don't think they're lazy.  I think they feel conflicted about you; they're not completely signed up with you as their leader."

Him: "That's irrelevant. They just need to do their jobs."

I felt like saying (but didn't), Seriously, dude?  And, sadly, he really believed this: he didn't get that his people's feelings and perceptions about him would have any impact on the team's results. Unfortunately for him, he never changed his point of view, and he lost his job within the year.

If you're a manager, what your employees think of you - whether they trust you, whether they think you're capable, whether they believe you have a vision for the future and that it's feasible and inspiring - is a big factor in whether you and your team will succeed or fail.  Managers and leaders who disregard this fact do so at their peril.  A study conducted a few years ago by PDI Ninth House and the University of Minnesota, based on almost 40,000 leaders globally, called out six key executive derailment factors. Three of the six focused on a leader's ability or inability to build strong positive relationships with those he or she manages.  Those executives at the highest risk for failure 1) didn't  create an environment where people work at their best, 2) expressed disagreement tactlessly and insensitively and 3) failed to gain others’ confidence and trust.

And there was another derailment factor that was even more impactful than these three: pure lack of self-awareness. Leaders who had an unrealistic view of themselves, who didn't see themselves as their direct manager and their employees saw them, were more than 6 times as likely to derail as those who saw themselves clearly and who were willing to acknowledge their own shortcomings.

I really don't want you to be a part of that sobering statistic.  So: if you're willing to be self-aware, even if it's painful, here are the five top signs your employees think you're awful. Open your eyes, clear your mind, and be honest with yourself - are these things happening on your team?

1. Conversations stop when you show up.  If you walk into a room where your employees are talking and it suddenly gets quiet; or (even worse) people look slightly guilty or won't meet your eyes; or (worst of all) people get up and leave with muttered excuses - that's bad.  It either means that they're saying bad things about you when you're not around, or that they're unwilling just on principle to let you know what they're saying.

2. Many people suck up to you. In any group, there are generally one or two people who believe the best way to get ahead is to be a sycophant. But if lots of your folks consistently focus on flattering you and trying to curry favor with you, it means that they believe the only way to be safe and successful in your sphere is to pretend to agree with everything you think or say. This is not how people deal with someone they respect and trust.

3. You can't get people to speak up in meetings. Executives often blame this on their people ("risk-averse," "no ideas," unwilling to step up," etc.) But generally speaking, if you're asking people for their ideas and opinions at meetings, and you're consistently not getting anything back but silence and blank looks - they either think you're going to respond badly or they've become so disengaged that they can't be bothered.

4. You don't hear about bad stuff until it's too late to do anything about it. This simply means that people are afraid to tell you the truth - so they try their best to hide tough facts for fear of repercussions.

5. You dismiss feedback about your management or leadership. If people are actually brave enough to tell you about things you're doing that aren't working, and your consistent response is to disagree or rationalize - or even to shoot the messenger...your employees definitely think you're awful.  In fact, it's probably what they were talking about when you came into the lunchroom and everyone shut up and looked guilty.

If, upon clear-eyed reflection, you realize that even one or two of these things are happening...you have a problem. Don't despair, though - it is within your power to address this.  Here are some posts you might find helpful:

Think You're Not Getting The Real Story? 4 Ways To Get People To Tell You The Truth

3 Qualities That Define the Natural Leader - Do You Have Them?

5 Simple Things You Can Do To Get People To Speak Up In Meetings

Are Leaders Born Or Made?  

I've seen bosses dramatically change their management approach and their relationship with their employees - and, as a result, build creative, engaged and successful teams.  It can be done...and it could save your career.

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Find out what leader readiness means and how Proteus can help.