NBA athlete Kevin Durant, when accepting the NBA award as league MVP, embodied the essence of that recognition. “I had so much help, so many people believe in me when I didn’t believe in myself,” he said. “We weren’t supposed to be here,” he added, speaking to his mother. “You kept us off the street. You put clothes on our backs. Food on the table. When you didn’t eat, you made sure we ate. You went to sleep hungry. You sacrificed for us. You’re the real M.V.P.”
1. When the Spotlight’s On You, Shine it On Others
Durant continued citing others rather than talking about himself. He told each of his teammates, by name, how much their believing in him mattered, writes Ariel Chesler. To Russell Westbrook he said: “I can speak all night about Russell. He’s an emotional guy who will run through a wall for me. I don’t take him for granted. I love you, man. You’re an MVP-caliber player, it’s a blessing to play with you.”
Demonstrating mutual mindset traits, Durant was “open, vulnerable, emotionally brave, and sincere” – thus drawing his friends closer and pulling in strangers who heard about what he said and were moved to share what he said with others.
Tip: When the spotlight’s on you, shine it on those you admire and love, naming them and sharing the vignettes that make that recognition memorable and credible.
There’s no stronger way to make that spotlight brighter for you, those you name and those who may contagiously emulate your connective behavior. “The sooner recognition is given, the greater the afterglow” ~ Roy Saunderson
2. Spontaneously Celebrate Someone You Both Admire
When stopped at a red light one morning, I saw a driver in an adjacent lane crying, as was I. Because we both had our car windows rolled down to capture the breeze on this sultry day, I could tell we were probably crying for the same reason. So I said, “I’m listening too and I feel the same.” He smiled, waved and responded, “Some people are nourishing for a long time, eh?” We were both listening to Obama and Peter Sagel’s heartfelt goodbyes to Carl Kasell of “Wait, Wait Don’t Tell Me.” Kasell, a long-time journalism hero to many, including me, was loved for his “bemused gravitas” news coverage on NPR’s “Morning Edition.”
Hint: Some people, like Kasell, bring out our better side, thus enabling us to feel closer to others when we talk about them. A mutuality mindset fosters such reactions.
Tip: Get close to someone by commemorating a person you both deeply admire. Double-up the impact when that person you both admire is mutuality minded and usually brings out another’s better side – just as your instigating a shared celebration of that admirable person naturally does.
