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Coaching For Leaders: A More Human Way To Fire People

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At one point in my corporate career I was charged with laying off a number of people.  We had certain headcount targets to meet as part of a corporate restructure.  My head count reduction target came to me in a large brown envelope at the end of a long executive team meeting we were in. There was no discussion about how to go through the process. Just do it. Restructurings are no longer the exception in today’s workplaces. Given recent layoffs announced by Microsoft , IBM , and other companies, how about we engage in a dialogue about a more human way to fire people?

The Leader’s Dilemma

One of my executive coaching clients has to layoff several people in her organization.  Her dilemma is how to do what’s right for the business (make target commitments), honor her own values, and the dignity of the person being fired. Having to fire people is inherently uncomfortable for most of us. To escape that discomfort, our coping mechanism is often to shut down our feelings and make it a swift surgical procedure.  This leaves us disconnected from a part of ourselves and often leaves the employee in pain, anger, with trust damaged in the organization. In today’s social media world, this undermines the investment made to actually build organizational trust and reputation. For me personally, it also takes away a bit of the soul every time we do this, because we have not honored the human being inside of ourselves and others.

Seven Steps to A More Human Layoff Conversation

This is a difficult conversation. It takes preparation, courage and self-awareness, and effective communication. It also takes a willingness to be vulnerable as you allow yourself to be empathetic to the person being impacted.  I reached out to Tana Heminsley who helps leaders have more authentic conversations to get her thoughts on how best to prepare for it. Here’s what we came up with.

Get clear on goals.  As leaders our goals are to deliver the message with conciseness and clarity, to minimize risk to the organization, and to preserve the other person’s dignity. It’s also an opportunity to grow ourselves as leaders who can have difficult conversations with greater authenticity and whole-heartedness.

Leverage available resources.  Ask for talking points about the restructure. Be ready to address the question “why am I being laid off” and “what’s next”. Find resources, training, and mentors to help you prepare how to deliver the message.

Prepare for the conversation.  Go through the attached action worksheet. Practice a role-play with a mentor, boss or coach. Research with athletes shows that positive visualization of a win is almost as effective as actually training.  Do a positive visualization of how the conversation plays out.

Center yourself prior to the conversation.  I remember not being able to sleep the night before I had to fire someone for the first time.  A key practice to impact a positive outcome is for us to be centered.  When we are centered, open, and relaxed the “mirror neurons” in our brains actually help others relax in our presence.  One centering practice is to breathe deeply and put our hands in the middle of our chest. Research shows this has calming effects on our nervous system.   It is helpful to know our own pattern around difficult conversations (avoiding them, judging the person “they deserve it”). We have to practice ways to remain human (compassionate, fully honoring our values) while delivering clearly what we know is a tough message for others to absorb.

Deliver the message clearly – During the meeting, maintain eye contact and keep your body posture open. This communicates both confidence and compassion. Deep and slow breathing with relaxed stomach muscles, sitting with a straight spine and shoulders back and down can promote a calm nervous system so you are less likely to snap  if triggered by their reaction. You’re not feeling sorry for the individual or responsible for their reaction. You are seeing them as fully capable, resourceful, and resilient.

Listen and Mirror back – A key aspect of practicing empathy and building trust through a difficult conversation is to be tuned in to the other person.  If they are upset, it can be helpful to mirror back to them “I see you’re frustrated” without trying to solve this problem for them. Make space for whatever their reaction is while you practice staying centered.  If you think the reaction could be strong, ask an HR person to sit in with you.

Reflect and learn – Identify the two or three things that you did well and one thing that you learned you could do differently.  Recognize that you had the conversation with integrity for yourself, the company, and the person being let goFor those on the executive team, it’s important our front line leaders understand and see us role-modeling the behavior we expect from them. Help them be equipped with the right resources to have these difficult conversations. Acknowledge being human and be courageous enough to show your real self.  Importantly, stay tuned in to the process as you notice your own discomfort and stress, rather than moving to the next item on the CEO agenda. Your leaders’ engagement and the overall trust in the organization is at stake.

Connect with me on Twitter @hennainam and and get leadership advice at www.transformleaders.tv