Shockingly, it will be 2016 in a little more than a month. Everyone I know seems to be taken off-guard by this fact. I've been a part of many conversations in the past couple of weeks where one person says, "Can you believe it's almost Thanksgiving?" and the other people shake their heads, looking a bit dazed.
So, in the service of not ending the year feeling as though you've been flattened by the march of time, here are some things you can do to finish the year ready to start fresh:
Remove small annoyances: My son just told me that his license plate has been hanging by a thread for a couple of months, and that every time he gets in the car he thinks about fixing it. Little things like this suck up our mental bandwidth and make us feel unfinished. Over the
Clear out your space: I spoke with someone last week who raved about Marie Kondo's The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up. Whether you use her book, or do it on your own, the end of the year is a wonderful time to get rid of all the physical clutter in your life. My husband and I just moved to a new apartment in New York, and one night we gathered up a bunch of boxes and plastic bags and got rid of everything in our old apartment that we didn't want to take with us. It's amazing how much stuff most of us have that we don't need or use. Once the books and clothes had been given away and the junk had been thrown out, I definitely felt mentally and emotionally lighter.
Clear up confusion: Think about how you would complete this sentence: I'm not really sure... I imagine a few things spring to mind; most of us have situations in our lives that are murky. Does Aunt Jill expect us to invite her for Thanksgiving? Does my boss think I'm going to finish the sales forecast by the 15th? We often let minor (or not so minor) confusions linger, generally because we're afraid to find out the answers to our questions. Find out. You'll feel clearer, and you'll have a better sense of what to do next.
Have important conversations: Is there something you've been carrying around with you and not saying? One way to tell: you're having the conversation with the person in your head that you need to have out loud. For instance, I was talking with a woman last week who was responsible for sending out a daily e-update to her company, and she was really tired of her co-worker not giving her critical information till a few minutes before the deadline. When I asked whether she had said anything to the person about it, she said no. Make an agreement with yourself to figure out how to bring up those tough topics before year end - and then do it.
Ask for what you want: This is related to the one above. When you're having those tough conversations, don't just complain: request. I encouraged the woman with the late co-worker to go to her and say, "I'd really appreciate getting your information by 9:15, since the newsletter goes out at 10." And once you've warmed up by asking for day-to-day things like this, ask for the big things, too: feel like you deserve a raise or a promotion? Ask for it. You know that thinking about it has been taking up your emotional bandwidth.
Stop procrastinating: I have a client and friend who is a major procrastinator. Both his work and personal life are awash with things he's been putting off. He confided to me recently that he's in a fairly constant state of anxiety because he has so many things pending that he's always sure that something is late or has slipped off the list. The place to combat procrastination is in your self-talk. Next time you think about doing something you've been putting off, notice what you say to yourself about it (I suspect it's either I don't have time to do that right now, or I can get to that later). Revise your self-talk by reminding yourself of the benefits of doing the thing, e.g., If I do this now I won't have to think about it any more, or What a load off my mind it will be to have this thing done.
Reconnect: Almost everyone takes some time off at the end of the year. Sometimes that vacation time can get totally sucked up into have-to-dos. I remember when my kids were small, it never seemed as though the holidays were really a vacation, what with all the family traveling, visiting, cooking, cleaning up, keeping the kids occupied, doing last minute-errands etc. It was often just a whirlwind of activity. But I'd encourage you to create some little windows of quiet to enjoy those closest to you. I remember one winter afternoon when my kids were about 10 and 14, sitting in our pajamas on the living room floor, a fire in the fireplace, playing cards. It was delicious.
Do something good: I'm a sucker for the Christmas season, even though I'm not a Christian. The whole idea of peace on earth, goodwill to everybody, is very appealing to me. And, it turns out, doing something for others is not only good on a karmic level, it's good for your mental and emotional health, as well. Take a bit of time before the year is out to give of yourself - time, money, expertise, knowledge - to help someone else. Give to your favorite charity, volunteer at a soup kitchen, provide food or toys to homeless children - anything to make the world a better place.
Think about your future: I think New Year's Eve is a particularly good time to do this. I've never talked to anyone who really enjoys going out on New Year's Eve: it's cold (in most of the country), crowded, and you're surrounded by people who have had too much to drink. Stay home with your spouse or a good friend, talk about the year that's passed: what was great and not so great. And then think together about the year ahead: what you'd like to accomplish, learn and experience. It's a great way to set yourself up for a wonderful year to come.
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