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The Queen Bee's Sting Keeps Women From Getting To The Top

This article is more than 8 years old.

Recently I was a guest lecturer for Stanford University’s Technology Entrepreneurship course. Now I’m bringing the lecture to you in a seven-post (lesson) series. This is Lesson 6.

Former Secretary of State Madeline Albright once said, “There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women.” Based on what many women in their 20s and 30s report, hell is crowded with “queen bees”—women who have succeeded in business but refuse to help other women succeed, or even worse, intentionally keep other women down. The queen bee is a grown-up version of the middle-school mean girl, with the professional experience and network to hold onto her high-power crown at the expense of others

I’m not suggesting that all women roll out of bed every morning thinking, “What can I do today to screw that young women down the hall?” In fact, in my 16-years at USA Today, two women were instrumental in my career advancement -- they were my role models and cheerleaders. And recent research conducted by Columbia Business School and University of Maryland’s business school shows the queen bee syndrome may not be driven by mean women, but by implicit quotas. This from an article in the Washington Post, “Given the ‘queen bee’ stereotype, people have often posited that the woman at the top might be trying to hold other women back from joining her. Yet the researchers suggest that their findings instead suggest the culprit is ‘implicit quotas,’ in which companies feel pressure to add women to their uppermost ranks to improve their public image — but once they've added one, they feel like they've done their job.”

Although this research makes a point that women aren’t totally responsible for keeping other women down, it does not mean the queen bee is dead.

Jayne Juvan is 34 and made partner at a national law firm at 32. Jayne says,When I was starting out, I wanted to be influential, develop my voice and make an impact. I recognized the importance of building relationships with senior women but had trouble gaining buy-in from some in the legal profession. I didn’t understand why I felt this tension, especially because I was able to line up strong female sponsors who were in other professions. I asked an accomplished woman to offer her perspective. She told me that some women believe there is only one seat at the boardroom table for a woman, making them reluctant to embrace each other. Some adopt a scarcity mentality, believing that another’s win is their loss, instead of an abundance mentality, realizing there are plenty of opportunities for everyone.

“I’m a member of the abundance mentality club and I’m passionate about helping women succeed. I have seen women leave the legal profession as early as their 20s and 30s. Some don’t believe they have role models to follow, mentors to guide them or supporters to bolster them. Some are faced with balancing the challenge of motherhood and the intensity of working at a law firm. I enjoy serving as outside counsel, but understand that working at a law firm can be grueling. We’re under pressure to produce high-quality legal work and to develop robust, international networks. This requires us to be in the office during the day and out networking in the morning and evening.

“I’ve also noticed that some women are giving it their all—they are leaning in as Sheryl Sandburg suggests we should be—but they don’t have anyone on the other side to catch them or help them. So when women in their 20s and 30s see what they’re really up against, some “opt out,” and women aren’t breaking through to the ranks of partner or equity partner in law firms at the rate they should be.

“Research suggests that diversity leads to better decision-making. If women aren’t at the table, we’re doing a disservice to our clients, our law firms and society as a whole. To help fix this problem, I launched a women’s initiative at our firm.”

Reshma Saujani, founder and CEO of Girls Who Code (an organization working to close the gender gap in technology) says, “Sometimes I think we get in our own way—women aren’t always nice to each other. I talk to women who didn’t get paid [parental] leave and now are in senior management positions and they’re trying to make other women go through the same hoops and hurdles they went through. We have to check ourselves. This is not a hazing … Men are standing back and watching. Nothing will ever change if we women don’t share opportunities with each other.

From sharing opportunities with each other to launching women’s initiatives, these women are taking action. As they are climbing their career ladders, they are reaching one hand up to women (and men) who will support them, and their other hand is reaching down to take the hand of a younger woman, helping to pull her up. They’re determined to put an end to the queen bee syndrome. We all need to join them.

Millennial Handbook Lesson #1: How To Get Lucky Without A Plan is here.

Lesson #2: This Self-Made Woman ‘Turns It On’ To Get What She Wants is here.

Lesson #3: Only I Can Create This Opportunity For Myself is here.

Lesson #4: The Real Cost Of Selling Millennials The Wrong Bill Of Goods is here.

Lesson #5: Be Your Own Number One is here.

Lesson #7: Why You Should 'Never Take No From Someone Who Can't Tell You Yes' is here.

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