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This is Mentoring Moment #13 -- a series of "you need to know" stories (each told in under two minutes) from successful women of multiple generations. Stories for you to collect and share.
“I think you are living your dream, now you need to dream bigger.” That’s what Whitney Johnson, author of Dare, Dream, Do, told me when I said I was having a hard time identifying my big dream. That advice was priceless. In 2015, her critically acclaimed book, Disrupt Yourself: Putting the Power of Disruptive Innovation to Work was released – think about taking the practice employed by companies like Amazon and Uber, and applying it to yourself to stop letting what you already know get in your way of playing your best game. Whitney makes me think bigger and bolder. And I’m not alone -- Whitney was recently inducted into Thinkers50 as one the world’s leading management thinkers. She's on many people to watch lists and is the cofounder of the "40 Women To Watch Over 40" list celebrating women who are upending that 40 is past their prime. This is her mentoring moment, in her words:
Nervous, but mostly eager, I walked up to the C-suite floor to meet with a senior manager at Merrill Lynch. When I’d met him two years earlier, he seemed supportive of my career as a sell-side analyst. Now that I was Institutional Investor double-ranked, I decided to confide to him my long-term aspiration to move into senior management, hoping to enlist him as a sponsor of my five-to-ten year quest.
Instead, he was dismissive, his message clear: my dream of a senior management position would not come to fruition at Merrill. I walked into his office animated, buoyant with confidence that I could be more. I walked out with my dream deflated. As Mike Tyson said, “everybody has a plan ’til they get punched in the mouth.”
Historian James Truslow Adams coined the phrase the “American Dream” to describe a “social order in which each man and each woman shall…attain to the fullest stature of which they are innately capable…regardless of the fortuitous circumstances of birth or position.”
In my Merrill experience, the senior manager didn’t share my vision of what I thought my full stature could be. Maybe he was right. Maybe not. Paraphrasing Chris Brogan, “Even though the customer may not always be right, he still deserves to be heard.” My mentoring moment taught me that no one should leave your office feeling like they just lost a boxing match without a chance to put on their gloves.
Honor the aspiration: Even if what’s desired isn’t possible, when someone shares with us a dream, a career goal or an innovative idea, their ambition should be honored. “Great leaders,” wrote Marcus Buckingham after surveying 80,000 managers in a Gallup poll, “discover what is unique about each person and capitalize on it.”
Look hard for the yes: Many managers say “no” as if every “yes” to an employee means “no” to the company. This is a zero-sum view of the world, one in which the size of the pie is fixed. The bigger your piece of the pie, the smaller mine is. When we look for the “yes,” an associate asking to do more becomes a catalyst for growing the pie.
Even when we are predisposed to say yes, seeing people in the role they envision for themselves can be difficult. If someone’s star quality isn’t immediately apparent, disaggregate their package into component skills to pinpoint the unique gift(s) that can make them a star performer. We all yearn for that kind of “yes.”
It has been said that, “our aspirations are our possibilities.” Managers keep control, but leaders push the limits of the possible by investing in people.
Mentoring Moments Series
#1: What I Did When My Boss Threw A Stapler At My Head is here.
#2: How To Break The Rules, Spread A Little Mischief And Make A Mint is here.
#3: Do You Need A Shrink Or A Mentor? And What's The Difference is here.
#4: Best Way To Deal With A Mean Girl Boss? One Woman's Powerful Answer is here.
#5: Why Women Need To Stop Worrying About Being Liked is here.
#6: What's Better Than A 50% Pay Increase? One Woman's Expensive Lesson is here.
#7: A Millennial Stops Giving Excuses And Gets What She Wants is here.
#8: Millennial, Mother Of 50: She's Breaking The Rules And Saving Lives is here.
#9: Nice Women Finish First When They Ask The Right Questions is here.
#10: Millennials Beware: 'You Can't Let One Bad Guy Push You Out' is here.
#11: Women Sleep Better When You Listen To The Silence In Your Head is here.
#12: Five Words That Turned This Self-made Woman Into A Multi-Millionaire is here.
#14: How An Entrepreneur Made A Choice She'll Never Forget is here.
#15: How This Entrepreneur Turned Her Ignorance Into A Huge Success is here.
#16: Two Words That Made This Millennial's Network Explode is here.
#17: When This Woman Changed Her Name, Her Career Took Off is here.
#18: How A Taxi Ride Drove This Self-Made Woman's Career is here.
#19: 6 You-Need-To-Know Lessons That Will Make Your Career Explode is here.
#20: 3 Gritty Tips That Will Make You Way More Exciting And Successful is here.
#21: 5 Words That Made This Millennial A CEO is here.
#22: Can Success Be Dangerous? This Woman Found The Answer On A Starbucks Cup is here.
#23: 7 Simple Words That Will Make Your Career Soar is here.
#24: Why Women Need To Stop Being Afraid To Ask For Help is here.
#25: 7 Powerful Lessons That Will Ignite Your Inner Fire And Your Career is here.
#26: How a Homeless Woman Released From Prison Became 'My Greatest Mentor' is here.
#27: To Find A Mentor Stop Asking 'Can I Pick Your Brain?' Do This Instead is here.
#28: Her Boss Verbally Slapped Her - Now She Runs Her Own Show is here.
#29: Top Poker Player Wins $11.6 Million And Goes To Work Thinking She's A Loser is here.
#30: How A Sex Ed Class Prepared This Woman For The Biggest Pitch Of Her Career is here.
