Is The Motorola Razr Making A Bedazzled Comeback?

Future nostalgia. Aside from being the name of the new Sheepdogs album, the term means we feel nostalgia for something that hasn't happened yet as if it already has. Like snapping a brand new Motorola Razr in half. Or holding a flip phone up to our head like the status symbol it was. Back in 2004, if you weren't using a Motorola Razr V3, you were using a blocky Nokia 7610 (the Nissan Cube of phones) and feeling left out. It appears Lenovo (who owns the Motorola brand) wants to "flip back to the Razr days of yesteryear and get ready for the future," as they tease the return of the Motorola Razr.

That promo vid does nothing for me, as I'm not a Millennial, clearly the target market here. Those of us who were using mobile devices before the Motorola Razr were carrying pagers in high school. To be fair, of the record breaking 130 million units sold I did own at least four Razr phones between 2004-2005. Sure, it was cool and sleek but it was prone to breaking in half. At least mine was, with little or tons of force. I think I dropped one in a mop bucket. The point is, do we need flip phones back on the market? I thought we've evolved past having to physically open a phone to use it. Is Lenovo banking on Millennial nostalgia that might not exist?

Some older Millennials are more nostalgic for the Nokia 8850 and a riveting game of snake on a tiny screen. One area millennial told me, "I think flip phones are crazy crap. But I know Millennials who are crazy." Don't we all? But are they crazy enough, or hipster enough, to slap closed a flip phone at the end of their call? Wouldn't a new flip phone hearken back to the days of outdated technology? Another area Millennial touched on this when he told me that he "would not like a flip phone... or a dial-up modem or a black and white TV". Pretty sure we were using DSL and color TVs back in 2004 buddy, but I understand the sentiment.

We have touch screen phones. We have ridiculous watches on our arms so we don't have to pull our phones out of our pockets. We have Bluetooth connectivity with our cars so we don't even have to look at the watches while driving. While it would be assumed a current generation flip phone (or clam-shell if you please) would be touch screen, it is still a flip phone. What would the keyboard look like? Would it revert back to having to press a button three times for one letter? We'll find out at Lenovo Tech World on June 9th when they reveal the Razr, but I'd rather speculate wildly.

A source close to a guy who knows a guy who sells electronics from the early 2000s out of the back of his van in a sketchy parking lot told me that the buttons on the new Razr will be replaced with a touch screen GIF keyboard. There will be a front facing camera in the middle of the phone, on the hinge instead of at the top. My source also confirms that the phone will use an updated, auto-tuned trap remix of the haunting "hello Moto" ringtone.

Additionally, my source tells me that the new Razr flip phone will run some version of Android named after a candy bar, and sync seamlessly with the Microsoft Zune. The woman sitting on my source's couch slowing burning a glass with a book of matches told me that the Razr will also come in bedazzled and non-bedazzled versions. I can't wait!

Update: Motorola has confirmed that this was all some sort of cruel trick and there will be no updated version of the Razr.