Something I read in my friend Bob Morris' blog today suddenly reminded me of the meaning of Memorial Day. I started thinking about my parents, and their stories of World War II. My dad fought in the South Pacific and his brother, my uncle, died in a plane over Germany. My mom and my grandparents stayed home and made sacrifices every day to support the war effort; rationed their food and gathered things to send to troops and refugees oveseas. Manufacturers stopped making cars, refrigerators, and most home appliances. Everyone knew someone who didn't come home; more than 400,000 US service men and women died during the war. Everyone felt the country was in imminent danger, and they were all willing to do whatever it took to keep our nation intact.
My generation, and the generations since, haven't really experienced that kind of society-level sacrifice. The idea of dying for our country is - for the vast majority of us - just that; an idea. Nor have most of us had the experience of sacrificing our needs or even our comforts on a daily basis for a greater societal good.
I look at myself: most of the very minor 'sacrifices' I've made in my life have been for my own benefit. I forgo most rich foods because I want to be slim; I give up some sitting-on-the-couch time because I want to be fit. I've dedicated some time, money and thought to the political and social issues I find important - but the choices are not so clear-cut: is better to recycle or to use fewer containers? Is it better to commute in the Prius, or take the train - and then a cab? And to call these things sacrifices is almost laughable.
I think the only arenas where I've made clear choices to sacrifice for the greater good have been as a parent and as a leader. Every day, good parents put their own comfort, convenience and preferences aside in order to create a better life for their children. From the big things like forgoing current pleasures to save for college, to the day-to-day choices to spend time playing with and teaching and listening to your kids when you'd rather be doing something else, parenting often involves a good deal of self-sacrifice.
Truly good leaders make some of the same choices. They do things that are personally uncomfortable or even risky for the good of the enterprise, or to protect the people who follow them. They may take a pay cut to avoid lay-offs in lean times; they may share bad news when they just want to avoid the conversation; they may apologize for a mistake so someone else doesn't get blamed. They often make decisions they know will put an extra burden on them - emotionally or in terms of time and energy - in order to benefit their followers or their customers. And most important, they make ethical choices that may not be comfortable or lucrative - but are the right thing to do.
And why is this good? I believe that when we consciously put aside our own ease, benefit or preference for a greater good, it exercises a kind of 'moral muscle' in us. It strengthens us by showing us that we are not simply selfish, hedonistic creatures; that we can make a determination about what is right and what is important to us, and act accordingly. And it creates stronger bonds of trust and mutual respect between us and other human beings, reminding us that living on this planet is a group endeavor; that none of us can survive alone.
So, in honor of all those hundreds of thousands of men and women who have sacrificed life, the most precious thing we're given, I encourage each of us to think about what sacrifices we could make to support those things that are dearest to us. All of us, and every one of us, will benefit.
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