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Today is one of those days. You may know the kind. It’s one of those days where it all comes crumbling down in a mountain of agonizing dread.
“Am I doing the right thing? Why am I even doing this? There’s no way this is going to work.”
I interviewed the founder of a smoothie delivery company for my podcast the other day, and her journey sounded so simple. When I asked her how she started, she told me she put up an ad on Google, a few people bought a non-existent product, and then she personally went to the grocery story and delivered the products to their doors. Wham, bam, business.
I know it’s dangerous to compare yourself to others. I even know that she’s had tough times. But sometimes, it just doesn’t matter.
Today is one of those days I just want to crawl under a rug, shut it all down and start over tomorrow with something new. I think if my business model had been at least attempted before, I’d feel a little clearer on my path. Instead, I chose to start a revolution. To completely uproot the concept of how companies hire for employees, and how students view their track to career satisfaction.
It’s a big undertaking, and not one I’m feeling particularly passionate about in this exact moment. This happens, right? All entrepreneurs feel like throwing in the towel at some point, don’t they?
I think this is a case of simple overwhelm—working from my tiny apartment day-in and day-out, constantly trying to keep myself motivated. There’s not one large thing that suddenly set me back today. Instead, it’s a matter of me wanting things to happen more quickly, to start seeing larger gains as opposed to centimeters of progress.
On the bright side, I haven’t slid backward. But as I mentioned, I’m not very patient, and despite the wise advice of many, it’s difficult for me to celebrate the small wins, of which I’ve had a few in the last couple of weeks. I always, always want them to be bigger (doesn’t everyone?) Really, it’s large anxieties trumping small forward movement.
This is also the danger of living across the world, away from a support network of inspiring friends who can give you a quick kick to the backside and tell you to keep going…or at least help you drown your sorrows over a bottle of wine. I’m struggling today to find the best way to pull myself out of a slump when I’m battling the journey on my own. How does one do that?
If you’re looking for a rosy ending at the bottom of the page, you won’t find it. I’m asking for myself as much as I’m writing for you. The best I’ve come up with? Write this post, cut myself a bit of a break today, and then get back at it tomorrow.
