You can go to job interviews where the atmosphere is so casual that halfway through the interview, somebody pokes their head in the door and says "I've got sandwiches!" Then they spread out some sandwiches that somebody picked up from Panera and you pick one, and everybody picks one and the conversation goes along while everyone is eating.
Then there are other job interviews that are so forced and formal that you're not allowed to ask clarifying questions of the interviewer. We hear about interviews like this all the time. This kind of third-degree interrogation happens a lot in government agencies and at universities, where they have a Search Committee asking the questions.
People get on these Search Committees either because they're forced to or because they want some Search Committee experience to pad out their resume. The members of the Search Committee may know as much about what the job opening entails as I know about bass fishing, which is to say 'nothing.'
INTERVIEWER: So, tell us about a time when you solved a large project involving a budget overrun and difficult personalities, or either of those things, but also took place in an environment similar to this one, and working under a Dean.
YOU: Hmm -- can I ask you a question to make sure I understand exactly what you're looking for?
INTERVIEWER: No.
There are many institutions where the interviewers are expressly forbidden from smiling at the job candidates, nodding their head while the candidate is sharing his or her thoughts, or otherwise giving any sign that might be interpreted as a sign of encouragement during the interview. The interviewers on the panel are supposed to sit like zombies and bark out their questions at the candidate. It's vile.
That's a horrifying and unethical way to treat people. You would think in a leadership job who has a little juice or mojo would have eighty-sixed that policy by now. Come on! We are talking to people, and we are people ourselves. Why should a job interview be so stiff and forbidding?
Why would anyone write a rule that prohibits job interviewers from smiling and nodding? It's fear! There is always fear behind weenie rules and policies. In this case, some administrator was afraid that if an interviewer smiled or nodded at a candidate during the interview, that might mean that the candidate had the job or was the favorite of the committee, perhaps for some nefarious reason.
It's asinine and childish to doubt the abilities and the integrity of the people we ourselves have hired and trained, but it happens every day.
You have permission to get up and leave a job interview if you're treated like dirt. It will do you good to physically rise from your chair, extend your hand for a handshake and say "I can see you are very busy here, and I'm very sensitive to the many demands on your time. It doesn't look like a great fit so I'm going to go ahead and scram, but I wanted to thank you for your time today and wish you all the best."
You don't have to say "scram" if you don't want to!
I have left a few meetings in the same way. You must be very polite as you take your leave, of course. When you hit the road you are merely reminding your interviewer and more importantly yourself that you are an adult and you get to choose where to park your body.
You can say "This doesn't feel right," and I hope you will.
I was auditioning in a sense for a consulting project with a not-for-profit organization. I met with the whole Board. Every single pearl and cashmere twinset in the area was in that room, let me tell you. There was an electric charge in the room and it wasn't a good one. Nobody in that room wanted to have a conversation.
"Go ahead and begin your presentation," they told me. "We've been corresponding about this meeting for a little while," I said, "and you may remember that we chatted over email about whether or not I would make a presentation. We said that we would talk about the project, instead. Does that still work for you?"
The Board ladies were alarmed. Talk live in a room in real time? Nobody wanted to do that. "We thought you meant that we would talk about your presentation," they said, "after it's presented."
"I would hate to waste your time talking about things that may or may not be relevant to your situation," I said. "Shall I ask you some questions to get the conversation started?" The dear ladies were still in shock.
They were trying to take in the idea that I had not brought a PowerPoint presentation and was not about to get up and dim the lights in the room. They were in the frame "Show me something." That's okay! Not everybody reads their email.
There was an awkward silence of about thirty seconds. I broke the ice and said "You are all very busy, and it's a lovely day. I passed a farmer's market on the way over here and if this isn't a great time for this conversation, I'll let you get back to your work and I'll just scoot around the corner and check out the farmer's market."
That got the ladies out of their stupor. "No!" they said. "Let's talk." We did. I got them to see that their idea for the consulting project was goofy and that they should save their money. That was my good deed for the day. I could not have consulted in that environment anyway.
You can leave a job interview, and it is always a good idea to name the elephant in the room, especially when you're meeting people for the first time. You've got to go on a job interview, or a consulting interview, as yourself. Otherwise you're making a deal with the devil. You're keeping quiet about the number one thing that needs to be addressed in the meeting, and that is the tension in the room.
Sometimes people say "Maybe the company recruiter is a jerk but maybe I'll really like the hiring manager when I meet him or her." Try that a couple of times to see what you find. In my experience a jerk at the front of the pipeline is a sign of general brokenness in the organization.
The hiring manager you eventually get to meet will be as nice as pie and as juiceless as a dried-up orange. Why hasn't anybody said anything or done anything about the jerky way the recruiter treats applicants, before now? Fearful, juiceless managers wring their hands and apologize to you for the shoddy treatment instead of speaking up to their own colleague the way adults do.
Run away! You have no time to work with children, unless you actually work with children in which case the rest of us bow down to you.
Thank God for children! They are so honest. They don't know enough to keep quiet about the elephant in the room. We could learn a lot from them.
