Dear Liz,
I am a big fan of your inspiring articles! I am 29 and thinking about my life and career.
I like to read self-help articles online and I get a lot of ideas from them. At the same time, I wonder: how many changes can one person make? Every day I see articles in my newsfeed that tell me how to change my diet, change my style of dress, act more professionally, improve my manners and upgrade my financial management skills.
Sometimes I feel that I could spend every waking hour working on self-improvement, but if I did that, would I really be any happier or better off? How do I know where to focus my time and energy (apart from doing my job, which is pretty demanding) and think about my personal and professional development?
Thanks,
Kwame
Dear Kwame,
You ask a great question: how much self-improvement is enough? How would you know when you were 'all fixed up' -- if it is even possible to reach that point?
The problem with self-improvement articles, books and courses in my view is that most of what we read and hear about 'getting better' only tells us how to do it, without telling us why.
Making changes is a pain in the neck. It takes time and effort. We need a good reason to shift our habits or to change our thinking. Why should we go to that trouble?
What fantastic prize awaits us when we are successful in changing our eating habits, our spending pattern or anything else? We need to know what we're working for!
You will know what to change about yourself and more importantly, why, when you know what you're shooting for. You will have a great reason to make big changes when you know what you want your life to mean.
That's more than just a career plan. It's a life plan. Your career is one part of your life. Many years from now when you are almost finished with your work on this planet, you want to be able to say "I did what I came here to do." As a strapping 29-year-old, your burning question to answer is "Why am I here?"
Who cares if you lose ten lbs. and have six-pack abs if you don't know your purpose and don't know how to figure it out?
What's the benefit of having an impressive job and a massive paycheck if you lie in bed at night wondering "What's the point of working so hard and making so much money if I don't know who I am?"
Your job is to figure out what you were born to do. You don't have to change anything about yourself -- just focus on the question "What is my purpose?" Once you know that, everything else will fall in line.
You'll eat the right foods because being healthy supports your mission. You'll manage your finances so that you aren't distracted as you push toward your goal. Everything will get easier when you know what God or the universe wants you to be doing.
Don't worry about the five changes I mentioned in the title. You will make lots of little changes as you begin to get clear on your path. The good news is that they'll be easy changes to make because you'll know why you are making them!
All the best to you, Kwame - you are headed in the right direction!
Yours,
Liz
