By Rachel Weingarten
It was Alice Roosevelt who famously had a pillow on her couch embroidered with this saying: “If you can't say something good about someone, sit right here by me.” It was probably meant to be tongue in cheek. Or was it? Most of us enjoy hearing random tidbits about colleagues or coworkers, but is there a point when engaging in “innocent” gossip becomes detrimental to your career? Deb LaMere,Vice President of Employee Engagement, Ceridian, likens gossip in the workplace to outright bullying.In fact, according to a recent survey by FlexJobs, the number one reason respondents want to telecommute for work is to avoid office politics.
But why do people dish about their co-workers? Allen Wagner, a Los Angeles- and Calabasas-based marriage and family therapist, has seen workplace gossip in multiple locations he’s worked in—along with its negative consequences. Wagner says “People who gossip tend to use this tool as a way to elevate their own status, and project superiority over the person in question.”
If you feel as though petty gossip has taken over your own work space, here are some suggestions to quell the urge to overshare too much while in the office.
1. Set Up A No Tolerance Policy
Radio host, New York Times best-selling author, and president and CEO of Ramsey Solutions, Dave Ramsey has a zero-tolerance gossip policy. “I hate gossip so badly I decided to have a no-gossip policy in our company. You are not allowed to gossip and work for me. Everyone is clear, if one of my leaders or I catch a team member gossiping we will warn them once, then we will fire them.” That might seem extreme to some, but sometimes the only way to strongly make a point is to clearly define your policy and any potential hazards of not honoring it. LaMere says “If your business has a zero-tolerance policy for violence and bullying, then it’s legal and ethical to roll gossiping in under this policy.” Make sure that the policy comes from the top and is publicized and enforced.
2. Know When It’s Best To Just Keep Your Mouth Shut
Many of us discuss things on our social networks or during business hours that don’t best represent our public selves or company reputations. Take the politician who nicknamed himself “Danger,” or more recently, the PR executive who made a really bad joke and was on an overseas flight when the social media monster devoured her reputation.
So how can you stop yourself from falling into the lure of social media gossiping? Brian Gross, the President of BSG Public Relations, represents clients and companies that sell products that might make some people blush. Yet when it comes to topics that might be considered off color or potentially scandalous, Gross demurs from becoming involved in the scandal du jour. He says, “As much as I would want to state my opinion on people or topics via social media, there are many times when I simply don't. You always have to look at what you post that has your personal opinion and ask yourself do I want to open that door?”
Much in the same way that you might avoid sending an inflammatory text during the heat of an argument, Gross suggests giving yourself something of a time out before posting anything to your networks: “It is always best to write something down, or type something out, and then decide to send, post, or simply delete.” Sometimes it’s best to keep your opinion to yourself.
3. Go Directly To The Source (Of Your Irritation)
As difficult as it is to confront a co-worker, it will probably save both of you a lot of heartache in the long run if you choose to discuss any issue openly and honestly. In her new book, Life’s In Session, corporate consultant Robin H-C suggests, “If you have something to say to a person in your life that’s of a sensitive nature, go direct. Don’t be one of those people that airs their complaint to everyone they know – except the one person who can address it. It creates unnecessary drama and stress for others. If you truly care to resolve the problem, going direct is the way to do it. It demonstrates respect and is a mature, solution-based approach to voicing a complaint you have with another.”
4. Transform Gossip Into A Force For Change
Finally, if you’re noticing an abundance of gossip in your own workspace, consider setting up a way for employees to make completely anonymous complaints without repercussions of any sort. After all, a lot of gossip in the workplace is generated by valid concerns, i.e., “He takes two hour lunches every day,” or “She never gets called to task for being late on a project like the rest of us.” Set up boundaries and rules well in advance of soliciting potentially sensitive feedback, and be prepared to hear things that you might not like. Decide how complaints will be recognized and acted on if proven valid. This can be a challenge, but realize that your employees act many times as the face of your brand: by allowing them to voice their dissatisfaction, you are creating a key way to make the company better and stronger.
Gossip is best kept for tabloids and reality television. As tempting as it is to indulge every now and again, ultimately, you run the risk of dragging yourself, your reputation, and your company through the mud.
Rachel Weingarten is an internationally recognized lifestyle writer, content strategist and an award-winning author of three non-fiction books who writes most often about business and style. Tweet with her @rachelcw.
Additional Reading:
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2. The Simple Way To Explain Business Continuity And Disaster Recovery To A 7 Year Old
3. Leave Your Laptop In Your Car And 9 Other Bad Cyber Security Habits
