When Sharon McRill was laid off from her cushy corporate job at a national bookseller, she thought she'd never recover. "I spent the first three days curled up on the couch, mourning what I thought was the best opportunity of my life," recalls the Michigan resident.
Indeed, outside of death and divorce, losing a job can be one of the most difficult things a person will deal with, say experts. "It's a serious fracture in one's world view," says Robert London, M.D., a staff psychiatrist at New York University's Langone Medical Center. "It doesn't matter if you're an executive or a bus driver--your identity is very much wrapped up in your job. And to suddenly be without that identity can be devastating."
That's precisely why it's normal to feel down in the dumps for the first few weeks after you stop reporting to work. But when your unemployment stretches on--and on--with no new job in sight, the blues can give way to serious depression. "It's easy to start believing self-doubting thoughts, like I can't find work because I'm no good," explains Dr. London, who notes that even if you don't think you're down in the dumps, if you're sleeping all the time, don't want to be around other people and/or have inexplicable physical aches and pains, there's a good chance that you're depressed.
In Depth: Smart Coping Strategies For The Unemployed
Of course, if you're in a funk, you're not going to be sending good "hire me!" vibes to people in your network, let alone potential employers. That's why it's so important to do everything you can to stay afloat psychologically while you're unemployed.
"Being jobless can make you feel as though you have no control, and having control over your life is one of the most important factors to happiness and success," says Paula Kliger, Ph.D., adjunct professor at Wayne State University in Detroit and executive vice president of the Michigan Psychoanalytic Institute. Kliger recommends regaining control by giving yourself a set schedule during the workweek. "Make finding a job your new job," she advises. "Get up, take a shower and put decent clothes on. Follow a flexible but firm list of what you're going to do all day. For example, networking online from 9 to 10 a.m., networking in person from 10 a.m. to 12 p.m., searching job databases from 2 p.m. to 4 p.m., etc."
If possible, think of your unemployment as a time for self-exploration and opportunity. Soon after she was pink-slipped, Sharon McRill stopped moping and sprung to action. "I used those eight jobless months to network and brainstorm about what I was really good at--and that turned out to be helping people with their household projects."
Although she eventually found another corporate job, it soon became apparent that her "involuntary vacation" had revealed her true calling: To open a full-service concierge service. Six years later McRill's company, The Betty Brigade, has three offices throughout Michigan and is in the process of expanding. "Getting laid off was the best thing that ever happened to me," she says.
Not inspired to start your own business? "Take a job sooner than later, even if it's not the perfect position, in your area of expertise or even in the pay range you're expecting," says Dr. London. "If you're innovative and a hard worker, you'll be surprised how many doors open. And simply having something to do all day will do wonders for your mood."
That was Sabrina Chapman's strategy. Five months after she moved to Manhattan from Columbus, Ohio, at her employer's request, she was laid off from her lucrative visual merchandising position. "Within a month, I found an internship. It was unpaid, but I knew it was important for me to get out into the world every day. That internship led to a crucial contact who hired me for my first freelance project." One project lead to another and just five months after losing her job, Chapman launched a public relations and event firm.
If you can't find work, resist the temptation to hole up in your house and wait for the world to come to you. "Isolation is a dangerous thing. When you live in your head, you ruminate and feed your depression," says Dr. London.
Plus, "As many as 90% of jobs are made through casual, not close, connections to others," notes executive coach Ann Daly, Ph.D., author of Do-Over: How Women Are Re-Inventing Their Lives. "Network your heart out, because you never know when the person next to you is going to help you find the perfect position."
Take it from Dana Swanson. After being laid off from her radio promotions job, she took several internships. None resulted in a job offer. Plan B: "I taught myself
As a result, she landed an intern-to-hire community manager position at a leading watersport music company, H2O Audio. "Today, I have a great job that's just a mile from my home, and as a bonus, I can see the ocean from my desk," says Swanson, a surfer and former competitive swimmer. "I didn't want to regret how I spent my year unemployed--and my efforts paid off."