OK, before I say anything else, please watch this video:
A colleague and friend, Cindy Franklin, sent this to me recently. I watched it with my husband, and we both completely missed the important element (I’m trying to avoid spoilers here). In fact, we were so committed to our sense that the whole thing was somehow a trick, that we immediately rewound the tape to see whether the element was really there the first time. We both thought, Wow – how could we have missed that?
What a great example of – exactly as the title of the video says – “selective attention.”
Often when I talk with executives, I notice that there are big, important pieces of the picture they’re simply not seeing. This little video helps me understand more clearly that we when we miss critical elements, it’s often because we’re over-focusing on what we’re already looking for…to the exclusion of the things we may not be expecting.
I was just talking to a client the other day who is a senior executive in a large company – almost 50,000 employees. Her boss is about to retire, and has already named his successor, a very smart man who has risen fairly rapidly through the ranks to his current position. She likes this guy, and thinks he’ll be a good CEO, but is astonished that, in her words “he’s just starting to recognize that it’s important for him to be a good people leader.” She’s quite focused on leading her own people well, and sees that as an important element of her success. It seems to me that her boss-to-be has been looking exclusively at his version of the-players-in-white-passing-the-ball parts of the business. He’s very financially and operationally focused, so it’s essential stuff – it’s just not all the essential stuff. I think for this guy, himself-as-leader-of-people has been the invisible gorilla in the movie.
So, how do you make it more likely that you'll see the big hairy gorillas walking through the middle of your life, rather than simply counting the number of times the ball gets passed? When you’re thinking about an important situation, professional or personal, and you want to make sure you’re not missing any important elements, try this:
Question your assumptions. First, unhook your brain from the conclusions you’ve already drawn. For example, “I’m doing everything I can,” or “It’s all their fault,” or “I only need this information." Turn those beliefs and conclusions into questions. "Am I doing everything I can?" "Is it their fault?" "Do I need other information?" When you do this, you're much more likely to see other important things that you would otherwise have dismissed.
Get curious. Step back and allow yourself to wonder what you're not seeing. Look at every aspect of the situation and get interested in exploring it...especially if you think you already know everything about it. An executive I know had a major "ah-ha" in talking with one of her employees. She thought she knew everything about him because they'd worked together for a long time. Then he mentioned how much he loved Venice. She got curious and asked him about it - and it turned out that he'd lived in Italy for 2 years after college, speaks fluent Italian and loves Italy. She'd been thinking about doing a series on Italian cooking - and realized he'd be a great person to do the research. Voila - a helpful gorilla.
Invite other eyes. Sometimes, even trying the first two things doesn't work - you need someone else's perspective to to open up your own. I recently had a conversation with a guy I was considering working with; he'd come highly recommended by someone I respect very much. Unfortunately, the conversation was quite unsatisfying; I felt "talked at," vs. "conversed with." I was really surprised, given what my colleague had told me about him, and couldn't see how we'd be successful working together - I was on the verge of saying "no" to the idea. Instead, I thought, What am I missing? I need another perspective. I reached out to the colleague who'd recommended him. She had a great insight about him: that the circumstances of our conversation might have put him in "telling" mode, making him less open and interactive. It seemed likely, and changed my view of him so much that I re-engaged in conversation with him, offered my feedback (and hers) -- and had a completely different experience with him, based on his response.
Try doing these three things, and I predict you’ll be surprised at all the metaphorical gorillas that wander by...some of whom may change your understanding in critical ways.
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Check out Erika Andersen’s latest book, Leading So People Will Follow, and discover how to be a followable leader. Booklist called it “a book to read more than once and to consult many times.”
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